My mother can drive me insane rather quickly...First I had to argue for weeks with her to get her to come down for my son's birthday (she lives an hour away, if that) and I had to bug her for a month at least to get her to come down.

So that brings me to x-mas. I called her yesterday to just say how are you and I get the "so what are you calling for?" question. So then I brought up x-mas and I got the "well you're going to Bobby's family for x-mas, not here." and the whole guilt trip so then I said that we could go there and I got the "well I don't have room for everyone here so whatever."

No more guilt trip...then I get the "well, I'm giving Kassy and Katie (my nieces that live near her) their gifts on x-mas so I don't know if they'd want to come back here again the next day." Guilt trip comes back...then she just says "well if they do this and that and blah blah, yeah...that'll work. Ok, you can come on Saturday the 26th."

Ok...so then I asked about gifts and I get the "well I don't want to do that and you got me a b-day gift so I don't want anything." Thanks for the help there mom. Then she moves on to "well, ask your sister about what she wants to do, she'll probably say no and she doesn't care to go shopping or do anything relating to holidays anyway." What the fuck is wrong with my family!? You don't want to celebrate x-mas?? God...my son is just 2 and I'm super excited for x-mas and see him get excited for Santa and I like it myself because I have a lot of fun decorating (when there's no one around to bug me)...total Scrooges they are.

My sister didn't even want to do anything for my niece's birthday (her daughter's b-day) and teases me every year about Alex's b-day and how much I'll hate making parties and they're too much work for a party for your kid. Fuck, the reason to have kids is to plan the stuff and have fun doing it. I had a bunch of fun looking for decorations and stuff for his b-day this year (which was of Disney Cars).

Anyway, she then continues on asking me about boots for Alex and clothes for Alex and all that stuff, then I suggest what to buy for x-mas and she's like ok, uh-huh, then 10 minutes after I keep suggesting things and saying "well, you can get that for him if you want." I get the "well, I already bought him something." So why the fuck did you make me spend 10 minutes giving you ideas when you already bought him his gift!? I mean really...would it have been so hard to say before I began "I already bought him his gift." and she won't tell me what it is so now I can't tell ppl what she bought so now I hope that no one will buy him the same thing. *sigh*

All that to say that out of a 30-40 minute conversation, I hung up discouraged, stressed and wtf-ing about my family. No one in my family seems to care about the holiday but I still have to make the effort to organize it...I say me because no one else wants to or cares. But if I didn't...oh boy...the words that would come out from them about me not trying.

I say this every year and one day I'll mean it...I'm not doing this again next year. I quit. And especially if I'm pregnant at x-mas next year and after I have 2 kids...I don't think so. They'll have to find another sucker to take the stress. No one wants to make the effort to get together and see their grandkids and stuff? Tough. I'm tired of stressing myself to make everyone happy and they always end up bitching about getting together anyway.

Is it a bad thing that I made a ticker counting down the approximate time that I want my brother to move out??

Mothers (at least mine), are the most frustrating things on the planet. I asked her a month ago if she was going to come down to my house to actually see the damn thing (she's seen it maybe twice in the 5 years I've had it) and all the stuff we've done to the house and for once not have us do all the traveling (it's an hour tops to our place) and I get told on that day "yes, I'll do my best to go on the road with Denis." (that's my mom's s/o)

So fine, my hubby offered to go and get her on the Friday night (which would be Oct. 9th) and bring her home the evening of Oct. 10th and she had said yes.

SO I call her this Friday to confirm that everything is still on for Alex's 2nd birthday on the Saturday and she says "I'm not going there on a Saturday, you said Sunday, why did you change it?" I told her it never changed, his family has had Thanksgiving dinner all the time on the Sunday since I've known them (which is 7 years) so I never would have said Sunday. Hell, my sister was right there when I said the date and when she called me on the Friday she said "are we still on for Saturday?" So yeah...I said Saturday but I get told I suddenly changed the date on her.

So anyway, she refuses saying that I told her Sunday when it was always Saturday and that she does not want to drive into the city on a Saturday saying that it's too busy. Given that it's a holiday, people will be at their relatives and won't be on the road, to which she said that it will be busy and she knows it. Nevermind the fact that she lives in a small little sleepy town and never comes into this town (and it's not busy on a holiday Saturday like this one) so how would she know.

Then I reminded her that Bobby was going to go and pick her up, drive her in and drop her off the next day and she had agreed to it. So now she's saying no, that she doesn't want anyone to go and get her and she'll see Alex for his b-day whenever we decide to go and see her. Nevermind the fact that we've been down there about 7-8 times this year and she says yes to coming for his b-day then makes up excuses to not come.

So now I have my mother refusing to come down even if it's us driving to go and get her and my hubby saying that he's not going there anymore if she won't even make an effort to come down here since all she does is make up excuses. Once a year won't kill you; hell, the last time she was here was to help me after I first had my son and even then she almost refused to come down and help me. And it's not about her age; she's 66 fine, her s/o is about 60 or so, but hubby's grandparents are in their 80's and they drive the same distance into the city (the more busy part across town) at the very least once a month to visit my hubby's parents.

Someone (actually a few someones) said she should see someone and get some help since she never wants to go out of her house and do anything. Which to a point is true, but then again it isn't; she'll take the bus that comes to the casino near where I live or go with her s/o to a town a few hours away to sight-see, but she doesn't want to visit her own family. "I spent my time visiting others (her aunts, my dad's family...not her kids!), now if any of you want to see me, you come to me. I'm not moving for any of you."

Yet she'll drive up into the mountains with bad visibility and horrible roads to my sister's house when we go to visit but heaven forbid we suggest visiting the rest of her children that live down the road that has nice paved roads and traffic lights all the way there.

I really do give up; if she cares that little of coming to see us, I'm beginning to wonder why I should bother to make an effort. I'll make as much effort to see her as she does to see me...let's see what she says. But then again, this is the same person that 9.9 times out of 10 won't call to see how you're doing and waits for you to do it. Only time she'll call is if she sends a letter to my house for my brother that goes to her address to know what it is...and she asks me...then gets upset when I don't ask what the letter is about, nevermind the fact that the damn thing isn't my business to begin with!

I'm debating whether or not I should call my mom tonight when I get back from work. The last time I called her was on x-mas morning and she didn't sound too pleased that I had called. Actually, she just seemed to want to rush through the conversation and get off the phone. It was a whole three minutes of "Yeah, hello?", "Hi mom", "Oh, hi. What's the matter?", "Nothing mom." "Oh, then what?"
"I just wanted to call and say Merry x-mas.", "Well, same to you."

"Alex got some cute things." "Well, that's good. Was there anything else?"

"No, did you talk to Marg?(my sister)", "not yet and I have no idea what she's doing with the girls; if she comes it's only for a few minutes, I'm not doing anything for them."

"Ok, well I just wanted to call and say Merry x-mas!" "Ok, you too. Goodbye."

That was a loving x-mas morning conversation now wasn't it?? I don't know if I should call her because I really have nothing new to say, other then the fact that Alex's eczema is back and my brother's g/f is driving me up the wall and I made a countdown timer to when she moves. She'll just get more po'ed that I'm bugging her more then anything and then I'll hang up and be more upset.

So worry about calling or not, or call and get upset. Decisions, decisions...

Wow...a quiz with two questions that is surprisingly accurate!

( Enneagram test-Personality )